Thursday, April 1, 2010

identity

Wow, three posts in one week? It's spring break, folks.

Anyways, sometimes I just like to document things in here. It makes them permanent, you know? Fully realized or something. It feels like things are complete when they have been written down. So here's something I've been learning.

I've been learning how to stand up for myself. I've never known how. They skipped that lesson at New Life, most likely because we were all so cocky and sometimes argumentative, it never seemed necessary. But I really lost out on that one, to the point where abusive relationships are all I seem to encounter. And why? Because I can't say "stop, please"? That's not even the case. It's believing in my own discernment, understanding the things the Lord has given me. "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness." That's really cool.

So when I think I should set boundaries, when I say no, I shouldn't let myself be talked out of it. I should trust my judgment. I can stand up for who I am in Christ, and when people tell me I am lacking and discriminate against me, I can point to 2nd peter 1:3 and it will be the truth.

But all of this is completely useless if one aspect is lost:
I can stand up for myself till kingdom come, I can say that I'm perfect in Jesus, I can push all the responsibility of sin onto my human nature and excuse it,
HOWEVER,
until I learn that standing up for myself means admitting when I am wrong, it's only self-righteousness and pride. And that isn't of the Lord, that's just ugly sin masking itself in Christian-y words.

I can say that I am perfect through Jesus, and that's true. But if I excuse my actions, the ones that are completely human, because of His righteousness, the Lord will not be pleased. After all, He wants a broken and contrite heart in exchange for our sins. Praise God He forgives, but if nothing changes in me, how can I claim to have the spirit of Him?

This is the most important thing I learned this year. Just like Jesus, sometimes you stand for justice the best when you give up everything.