my favorite childhood story

Hello Friends! Happy February to you all.

I was just pondering something about myself this week. I know most of you know that I love the Lord and commit my life to follow Him, but I'm not sure the majority of you know why I decided to do this. I've heard many, many guesses throughout the years. Things like "you were raised that way" or "the western culture has bewitched you" or "you had some stupid personal experience that every other person in every other religion has and therefore think your way is the correct one", ect.

Well, I thought I would document my decision process in a condensed manner in case you have ever wondered (or just have the free time to read my thoughts).

I was indeed raised in a Christian home and a western culture. I'm pretty sure that ever since the moment my parents and grandparents knew I was alive they prayed for me and told me about God and Jesus. For serious... I don't know if I could have been raised in a more faith-based manner.

So, it might come as no surprise to you that I was very young when I knew that I did bad, disobedient stuff and that I wanted Jesus to help me be better. I asked Jesus into my heart when I was about five, completely of my own free will (my parents wanted me to wait until I was old enough to understand, and I said no).

I continued on in the Christian religion learning stories and verses and doctrine and all of these inconsequential things. I knew I had "Jesus in my heart" and that He was supposed to help me not do bad things anymore, but that was really it. I lived for myself. I lived with my own selfish ambition. I tried to make my accomplishments good enough to base my identity on, but I was never good enough at anything. I didn't have awesome grades. I wasn't an awesome dancer (and believe me, that was my heart's desire). I wasn't "popular" or whatever. So basically, I thought I was a total failure and was terribly sad that I couldn't do anything right.

So finally, in my state of brokenness and selfish pity, I got involved with a group in my church that told me something I hadn't heard yet. I could have a personal relationship with God- as in He would relate directly to me, Elizabeth, and I with Him. I was caught off guard. They told me that my life was no longer mine, and by living to accomplish things that society values, like grades and dance and beauty, I was seeking my own advancement and looking for worth in things that were worthless and that I never would be the best in anyways because that’s how the world works (as in, even if I was the best dancer in the world, someone would come along and be better eventually). I was floored.

Needless to say, putting my self-value in the things the Lord did through me rather than things I tried to do on my own was refreshing. No more weight on my back to be perfect, hallelujah! And THAT is when I truly committed to following the Lord of the bible and letting Him be my strength in hard times when I feel like I always fail. That was not so very long ago- about 9th grade.

I still struggle with this very much; the idea of giving control of my life and mind to something I can't see or touch is hard to grasp. It wasn't until this year when I really started understood what faith looked like. But it was well worth every moment I took to seek the truth.

So there you go. That was a small snippet in a major process of giving my life to a higher power. To me, that is the most important moment in my life, and I just wanted to share it with anyone who cared to know.