Just another update

Hello friends!

I know you all know I'm going back for more tests soon, but I thought I would give you the schedule, just so you can't say that I never tell anyone anything!!!

So. Monday, I see my cardiologist in St. Paul. I don't think it'll be much of an appointment. Usually, he just tells me that he doesn't know how to help me and then I leave :)

Tuesday, I see my endocrinologist in St. Paul. Since I totally freaked out at him last time (because I was on the crazy medicine) it might be interesting. I'm hoping he will let me go off Prozac, because I don't like it. It gives me insomnia and makes me hyper-active/emotional/weird. But last time I started crying, I pretty much yelled at him, and I begged him to help me, so I'm not sure he'll be in favor of this. We'll see.

Wednesday, I go to the dentist. Yay! I love clean teeth. I will see if I can get my wisdom teeth out this Christmas. Not a big procedure, but because of all the medication and heart and blood pressure and nervous system issues, it complicates things a bit. So... we'll see.

Thursday I go back to Rochester. I see my neurologist from Mayo again to follow up on my progress. Since I still have a ton of chest pain and I've started to see flashes of light in my eyes all the time, this may or may not lead to more tests. I may have to do some eye tests, but most likely we'll just put it on the back burner. The chest pain will be a bigger problem. I may need to have some more tests done to see if I am having muscle spasms in my chest, or maybe have another echo-cardiogram. But, I really won't know till I get there. We'll see... ;)

The next day I see my...eh, fun doctor.... again. They gave me some meds that were supposed to help me with this part of my condition and told me if it did not control the problem, there was probably something else going on. It totally didn't do anything. The problem has gotten even worse since I left. Sooooooooooo that means I get fun ultrasounds and other related tests to see if they can figure out what the heck is going on. I figure this aspect of my appointments at mayo will take the most time. The ultra sound is on friday.

And then, on wednesday of the next week, I go back to my poor, overwhelmed, scared General Physician, who has no idea what to do with me. She was the one who gave me the crazy meds.

So! All in all a crazy week. Hopefully they will find the heart of my problem and get it the heck out of my body!!

But as my neurologist says, "We can diagnose, but only the Lord heals."

And at least at mayo, odds are they won't tell me I'm crazy!

I'll try to write more if we get any answers. Or if I decide about what to do for next semester.

I am thankful for every single one of you!
Love
Eli

I can't believe it's november!

Can you? Where has the time gone?

Well, I don't have much to update you about except that I have signed up again for classes in Eau Claire. Things have been going really well lately, and there are times when I feel completely normal again! There are also times when I don't feel better, but I figure, if that's as good as it's going to get, why not at least try to take classes? So. I'm registered. It's not a for sure thing yet.

I see my doctor at the mayo clinic in December. I don't think there is anything else he can do to help me. But it's about a month from now. I'm also seeing another doctor and having a test done, just for funsies! :) They are super sweet people in Rochester, so I'm not worried!

I have my marathon of Doctors appointments before long here... they all seem to come at once.

I love my new counselor. She's great! I miss my girls at school :)

I'll let you know if anything else comes up!

update

Hi friends!

Things here are going alright. I like being home still and I know it was the right choice. I am going to a fun new church with my dear friend Natalie and that's always wonderful. The preacher's awesome and they are loving and warm as a church family.

I guess there's nothing terribly new to note... I'm still trying to get better but I can't seem to do it! :) I was superuberfreakin sick for the last two weeks, like a zillion times worse than before, but I'm pretty sure it's a new medication they gave me causing the problem. I stopped taking it and started a new one and things are not awesome but they are much more tolerable most of the time.

I met with a new doc and he didn't know anything about POTS so he wasn't very helpful. And because I had insane insomnia from that medication I hadn't slept in like two weeks and I kinda freaked out at him. So he decided to put me of the medicine that I asked him to put me on and it was a bit disappointing because I wanted to see him so I could be careful about taking it, but he didn't seem to even think twice.

Counseling has been great of course! I like the new lady! And all the other things I have done to help are maybe helping? I can't really tell. But whatever I guess! We'll see! As long as I never have to take Tramadol again, I'm good. That stuff is straight up poison. Yuck.

I've been wanting to get out to EC soon, but I haven't been able to because I was too sick to go anywhere and I didn't want to be stranded in Eau Claire if I needed my doctors.

Anyways. Things are... welll..... they just are.

A battle

In my mind, there's a battle. It didn't always rage like it has recently, but I think it's always been there... I'm one of those people. One who think very deeply about my heart motives. One who really find the deep, deep parts of souls the most interesting. I can't seem to get past it sometimes. I can't just make a set of steps to reach a goal. I get stuck in the "deep thinking" section, analyzing my emotions and the emotions of others. It's a really scary place to be if you don't know how to navigate it. And I have found out that I really, really, really don't know how to navigate it.

I am so stuck in understanding mode right now that I feel as if I cannot proceed. It feels as if steps to the end goal can't be made until I understand how the deep soul processes of all the world can be laid out. So I'm idling. Making time pass with interesting, but totally meaningless things.

I know that being eternally-minded means that I need to do both. I need to be able to find a path and go with it while understanding and considering souls.

It bothers me that I can't do this. But I don't understand how to fix it. I get too stuck in my mind which feels like a whirlpool of philosophy and puzzles and humanity and doctrine. I try to consider what Jesus would do, but I can't form a practical solution. Or I am very impractical in my solutions and then when they fail I am still very lost.

I get stuck on boundaries mostly. Grace vs mercy vs love vs justice? Holiness vs purity? Satan vs God? Honoring and respecting elders vs obeying the Lord? Accountability vs not causing dissension? I feel like all of these huge issues that I will NEVER understand are constantly blocking my ability to be free. They are confusing. And our Father is not a father of confusion.

If you are reading, you can pray that I will understand how to fix this problem and how to be free. Because it is for freedom Christ set us free, and I don't want to waste one more moment being a slave to my own silly mind.

and the end of the story

Well folks, nothing really came up! I do have to take antibiotics for nine months and see a doctor every month and go back to two doctors in three months, but basically, we have no clue about what's up.

So now, I'm trying to decide whether school will be too much for me or not this semester...

however, it's good news for you guys since that means you wouldn't have gotten tb from me :) I have no sign of active infection, just the positive test that I am infected... but that doesn't mean too much. Just that they will keep an eye on me!

whatevs, I'd hold HIV positive orphans tomorrow if I could

This was quite the amusing day!

All my tests were negative, except that my TB test came back positive! So... yay? Maybe that gives us some answers.

So what does that mean? It means that at some point I was exposed to TB, presumably in Ghana, Honduras, or Panama, and my body made antibodies against the infection.

I suppose it is within the realm of possibility that I was infected in Honduras (which is eighth on the list of "most tuberculosis burdened nations") because I got some sort of bronchitis in December of my freshman year of college and they said on the X ray there was a nodule on my lung. This is reminiscent of TB for sure! But it went away with antibiotics.

It is not unusual for TB to reoccur in other organs of the body if it was not treated thoroughly when the infection presented. If I do have TB, it is somewhere other than my lungs, and could be causing all my problems!

Although if I do have TB, I'm pretty sure all hell breaks loose. The CDC comes. I get quarantined. Everyone I have ever known gets tested for it. Could be very messy.

And if I do have TB somewhere in my body, it is very hard to cure. I'd be on antibiotics for like, ever. But I guess better than never knowing?

But like I said. When this is over, I'm so going back to hold the beautiful, adorable, tuberculosis-harboring orphans. They were awesome.

Elizabeth

well...

Hello friends and family! Thanks for tracking with me! I know you are all praying and it means alot.

Tomorrow I go back for my last test, but I plan on asking for more if that one proves to be inconclusive. Let's pray pray PRAY that it will be the one to show something... it's the easiest one to fix! And the safest!

Still processing what the safest decision post-mayo is if they can't figure it out either. Not sure if school is the best choice, but I also can't really hold a job at this point. So... we're still praying. If it were up to me and my wisdom (HA!) I would hope that these last two test show something because otherwise I have absolutely no clue how to proceed.

Some people have commented that it must be scary or hard because nothing is set in stone. However, I am actually not scared of not knowing... I am just scared of never knowing because it's so hard for others to understand. Me and God have gone through some intense learning about His justice and methods of healing, and now we're just working on letting Him do that for the friends who have to deal with this problem by extension.

So! You can pray real hard on your knees tonight that the test are positive that they have run!! And you can also pray that I will have wisdom in how I deal with the problem and how to help others deal with my problem without hiding it.

Love you all!

Elizabeth