an update

Hello friends and family,

I wanted to tell you how things have been lately. Things, as always, have been good and bad at the same time.

The good: I'm still signed up for classes, and although I will probably drop one because I don't think my heart could handle full-time classes, it looks like I will try to go. I went to Mayo and they did a certain kind of test where they look inside me for anything wrong with a camera on a rope! It wasn't terribly pleasant, but it only hurt a bit and I'm not traumatized, so yay! They didn't see anything, so that's good too. I've been feeling alright lately, as long as I only do one thing a day and give myself time to rest.

The not as good: I am a bit frustrated that the docs down at mayo don't have more options for me. I was actually hoping the test would show something so I could get going on being better. But as it turns out, they don't know why it's happening and they don't have a non-invasive way to fix it. This makes me sad sometimes, because I wish there was some treatment we could at least attempt so I would feel like we are doing something.

Another not as good thing is that I'm still having trouble gaining weight. This is one of the most frustrating parts because I try so hard, but usually it's one step forward and two steps back. I'm scared I will diminish into nothing before they can figure out why nothing sticks to me! :-/ I had to buy my first pair of 00 jeans the other day (and while they were a great deal and are really nice) there were a lot of tears because I can't believe it's come to this.


I think that's all the happy-crappies I have for now ;-)

I go back to mayo on January 13th to see the neurologist and hopefully I can address these concerns with him. He's really nice!

And just in case you're praying about these things, you can pray also for my family in Georgia. Things are like crazy-town down there, as my grandmother and step-grandmother both have cancer and are going through treatment. Grandma Ann is having some REALLY annoying difficulties with medical errors after her surgery, and Grandmother will have her surgery soon after Christmas. My dad will fly down to help them out for a few days.

Thanks for checking back with me!
Love
Elizabeth

More waiting.

Hi friends and family!

So, this was supposed to be the crazy, decision making week. And you know what? It turns out that it isn't.

I went to the endocrinologist, and stopped prozac. He thought I was crazy, but that just means he doesn't know how to help :)

Then I went to the cardiologist and he was very sweet. He's been my doctor for a while now, and he tries so hard to help, but technically my problems are not his area of expertise. So he tried his best, but nothing really changed.

Then I went to see if I could get my wisdom teeth out. And I can, but now I'll need to just hold off until next spring or something because I won't have time this winter.

I called the Mayo on wednesday to check when my neuro appointment was because I never got my scanner code in the mail. And they said it never got scheduled, which is totally weird! So I had to reschedule for the 13th of Janurary.

And then I went to the other appointment on thursday, and my doctor decided instead of an ultrasound, she wanted to do a different procedure instead. So she canceled my appointment for today (friday) and scheduled the other one for december 17th, which is two weeks from now.

I'm not disappointed because I think the new test will be better anyways. I don't mind waiting either. But it's interesting how things change in an instant, isn't it? One minute you think this is the weekend when you will have to make a decision, then the next day you realize you can't even begin to do so for two weeks.

Well, that's all I've got for you for now! Please keep praying, especially for my mom, because I think all this anticipation is hard for her.

Love Eli

Just another update

Hello friends!

I know you all know I'm going back for more tests soon, but I thought I would give you the schedule, just so you can't say that I never tell anyone anything!!!

So. Monday, I see my cardiologist in St. Paul. I don't think it'll be much of an appointment. Usually, he just tells me that he doesn't know how to help me and then I leave :)

Tuesday, I see my endocrinologist in St. Paul. Since I totally freaked out at him last time (because I was on the crazy medicine) it might be interesting. I'm hoping he will let me go off Prozac, because I don't like it. It gives me insomnia and makes me hyper-active/emotional/weird. But last time I started crying, I pretty much yelled at him, and I begged him to help me, so I'm not sure he'll be in favor of this. We'll see.

Wednesday, I go to the dentist. Yay! I love clean teeth. I will see if I can get my wisdom teeth out this Christmas. Not a big procedure, but because of all the medication and heart and blood pressure and nervous system issues, it complicates things a bit. So... we'll see.

Thursday I go back to Rochester. I see my neurologist from Mayo again to follow up on my progress. Since I still have a ton of chest pain and I've started to see flashes of light in my eyes all the time, this may or may not lead to more tests. I may have to do some eye tests, but most likely we'll just put it on the back burner. The chest pain will be a bigger problem. I may need to have some more tests done to see if I am having muscle spasms in my chest, or maybe have another echo-cardiogram. But, I really won't know till I get there. We'll see... ;)

The next day I see my...eh, fun doctor.... again. They gave me some meds that were supposed to help me with this part of my condition and told me if it did not control the problem, there was probably something else going on. It totally didn't do anything. The problem has gotten even worse since I left. Sooooooooooo that means I get fun ultrasounds and other related tests to see if they can figure out what the heck is going on. I figure this aspect of my appointments at mayo will take the most time. The ultra sound is on friday.

And then, on wednesday of the next week, I go back to my poor, overwhelmed, scared General Physician, who has no idea what to do with me. She was the one who gave me the crazy meds.

So! All in all a crazy week. Hopefully they will find the heart of my problem and get it the heck out of my body!!

But as my neurologist says, "We can diagnose, but only the Lord heals."

And at least at mayo, odds are they won't tell me I'm crazy!

I'll try to write more if we get any answers. Or if I decide about what to do for next semester.

I am thankful for every single one of you!
Love
Eli

I can't believe it's november!

Can you? Where has the time gone?

Well, I don't have much to update you about except that I have signed up again for classes in Eau Claire. Things have been going really well lately, and there are times when I feel completely normal again! There are also times when I don't feel better, but I figure, if that's as good as it's going to get, why not at least try to take classes? So. I'm registered. It's not a for sure thing yet.

I see my doctor at the mayo clinic in December. I don't think there is anything else he can do to help me. But it's about a month from now. I'm also seeing another doctor and having a test done, just for funsies! :) They are super sweet people in Rochester, so I'm not worried!

I have my marathon of Doctors appointments before long here... they all seem to come at once.

I love my new counselor. She's great! I miss my girls at school :)

I'll let you know if anything else comes up!

update

Hi friends!

Things here are going alright. I like being home still and I know it was the right choice. I am going to a fun new church with my dear friend Natalie and that's always wonderful. The preacher's awesome and they are loving and warm as a church family.

I guess there's nothing terribly new to note... I'm still trying to get better but I can't seem to do it! :) I was superuberfreakin sick for the last two weeks, like a zillion times worse than before, but I'm pretty sure it's a new medication they gave me causing the problem. I stopped taking it and started a new one and things are not awesome but they are much more tolerable most of the time.

I met with a new doc and he didn't know anything about POTS so he wasn't very helpful. And because I had insane insomnia from that medication I hadn't slept in like two weeks and I kinda freaked out at him. So he decided to put me of the medicine that I asked him to put me on and it was a bit disappointing because I wanted to see him so I could be careful about taking it, but he didn't seem to even think twice.

Counseling has been great of course! I like the new lady! And all the other things I have done to help are maybe helping? I can't really tell. But whatever I guess! We'll see! As long as I never have to take Tramadol again, I'm good. That stuff is straight up poison. Yuck.

I've been wanting to get out to EC soon, but I haven't been able to because I was too sick to go anywhere and I didn't want to be stranded in Eau Claire if I needed my doctors.

Anyways. Things are... welll..... they just are.

A battle

In my mind, there's a battle. It didn't always rage like it has recently, but I think it's always been there... I'm one of those people. One who think very deeply about my heart motives. One who really find the deep, deep parts of souls the most interesting. I can't seem to get past it sometimes. I can't just make a set of steps to reach a goal. I get stuck in the "deep thinking" section, analyzing my emotions and the emotions of others. It's a really scary place to be if you don't know how to navigate it. And I have found out that I really, really, really don't know how to navigate it.

I am so stuck in understanding mode right now that I feel as if I cannot proceed. It feels as if steps to the end goal can't be made until I understand how the deep soul processes of all the world can be laid out. So I'm idling. Making time pass with interesting, but totally meaningless things.

I know that being eternally-minded means that I need to do both. I need to be able to find a path and go with it while understanding and considering souls.

It bothers me that I can't do this. But I don't understand how to fix it. I get too stuck in my mind which feels like a whirlpool of philosophy and puzzles and humanity and doctrine. I try to consider what Jesus would do, but I can't form a practical solution. Or I am very impractical in my solutions and then when they fail I am still very lost.

I get stuck on boundaries mostly. Grace vs mercy vs love vs justice? Holiness vs purity? Satan vs God? Honoring and respecting elders vs obeying the Lord? Accountability vs not causing dissension? I feel like all of these huge issues that I will NEVER understand are constantly blocking my ability to be free. They are confusing. And our Father is not a father of confusion.

If you are reading, you can pray that I will understand how to fix this problem and how to be free. Because it is for freedom Christ set us free, and I don't want to waste one more moment being a slave to my own silly mind.

and the end of the story

Well folks, nothing really came up! I do have to take antibiotics for nine months and see a doctor every month and go back to two doctors in three months, but basically, we have no clue about what's up.

So now, I'm trying to decide whether school will be too much for me or not this semester...

however, it's good news for you guys since that means you wouldn't have gotten tb from me :) I have no sign of active infection, just the positive test that I am infected... but that doesn't mean too much. Just that they will keep an eye on me!